Useful Coaching Methodologies Based on Neurological Findings and Facts: Naming and Rating Emotions

       The name of the second practice is “naming and rating emotions.” Finding a good way to control our emotions will be a common issue in everyone’s life. Please imagine that we can control our emotions at will when we face a difficult person or situation. How much can we enhance the quality of our social life? I’d like to show one useful way to control our emotions in the following section.

       In the first place, what’s the difference between the next two sentences: “I am angry.” and “I feel angry.” I think that there is one big difference between them. In my view, the first person who said “I am angry” can’t control his or her emotion very well because the person identifies with the emotion itself. On the other hand, the second person who said “I feel angry” may be able to control his or her emotion better than the first person. That is because the person has a certain distance from the emotion and objectifies the emotion. Through the above example, I’d like to propose that the more we objectify our emotions, the better we become able to control our emotions. About emotional control, a famous psychoanalyst Rollo May explains that “the mature person becomes able to differentiate feelings into as many nuances, strong and passionate experiences, or delicate and sensitive ones as in the different passages of music in a symphony” (cited in Rosenberg, 2003, p. 37). As Rollo May suggests, the first step to controlling our emotions is to differentiate our feelings. In order to differentiate our feelings, I recommend that we “name” each emotion. For example, when we feel a little bit angry, we might name the emotion as “a small war.” Likewise, when we feel very sad, we could name the emotions as “a cold ocean.” By naming our various emotions in such a way, we become able to grasp the subtle nuance in our emotions and able to objectify them in the more appropriate manner.

       What is happening in our brains when we name our emotions? According to a research result using fMRI, “the researchers found that when the participants labeled the emotions using words, they showed less activity in the amygdala―the area of the brain associated with emotional distress” (Rock & Page, 2009, p. 364). As this research indicates, naming our emotions is effective in reducing our mental distress.

       In the second place, I’d like to recommend that we “rate” our emotions on a scale of 1 to10. For instance, when we feel a little bit disgusted, we might rate the emotion on a scale of 3. Likewise, when we feel very upset, we could rate the emotion on a scale of 8. Then, I suggest that we ask ourselves: “To what extent can I keep my inner peace?” “Will I be able to tolerate the scale of 6 the next time because I couldn’t lose my temper on a scale of 5 this time?”  By rating our emotions and asking these kinds of questions, I believe that we are more able to notice the various qualities and quantities of emotions showing up within us and more able to control our emotions. Therefore, this “naming and rating emotions” practice is fruitful for us to become a close friend with our various emotions and to enhance the quality of our emotional life.

Reference

1 Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice

2 Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Useful Coaching Methodologies Based on Neurological Findings and Facts: Attention-Practice

       One of the characteristics of our brains is that the connections of neurons become more and more hard-wired as we pay attention to a certain phenomenon. I often make full use of this characteristic of our brains in a form of “questions” during a coaching session. One of the principles of quantum physics for our brain function is in the following: “The questions you ask influence the results you see” (Rock & Page, 2009, p. 179). In an actual coaching session, I ask my clients about various types of questions related to their coaching topics. As a result, they come to notice new emotional or behavioral patterns which they have never found before. With regard to paying attention to a new thing, Rock and Page (2009) explain that “by choosing what to shine the spotlight of attention on, we can effect changes in the very structure of our brain” (p. 180).

       However, how can we consciously shed light on a new thing? I often recommend that my clients keep a “coaching journal.” The purpose of keeping a coaching journal is to encourage clients to pay attention to questions which I have asked and to find some behavioral or emotional patterns in their daily lives. Needless to say, just my asking various questions is helpful for clients to notice their habitual patterns. However, for clients, writing is a more powerful way to pay attention to their unconscious habits than just asking questions. In addition, the more they can conceptualize their habitual patterns in their language by writing a journal, the more they can strengthen neural networks to notice these patterns. As a result, they gradually become able to cope with the old patterns.

       About the power of keeping a journal, one client gave me feedback: “I didn’t notice my emotional reaction to others like that until I started to keep a journal. By paying attention to questions in interacting with others, which you asked, I become more and more aware of my reaction patterns. Also, I come to find more and more new things by continuing to keep a journal.” As this client told me, keeping a coaching journal encourages clients to pay attention to their behavioral or emotional patterns and leads to their coping with their unique patterns once they can notice them. In conclusion, keeping a coaching journal as an attention-practice is very beneficial for clients so as to enhance their self-awareness.

Reference

Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice

Family History and Narrative: Integral Coaching

       Through a coaching activity, I found that most clients had commonalities in their coaching topics. Although there are a variety of topics, in nine cases out of ten, they talk about their family issues such as a story about their parents or grandparents and memory with parents. I think that our memories might be inherited from our ancestors and our brains may be highly affected by not only our parents but also more previous generations.

       In terms of neuroscience and psychotherapy, Badenoch (2008) points out that our bodies and limbic region in our brains may not be integrated when we have a psychological issue about family. I’m not a therapist, but no less important is the fact that even most psychologically healthy clients tend to talk about family issues. Why do people tend to talk about family issues even though their coaching topic seems to be irrelevant to family issues? As mentioned above, one presumable reason is that our current memories and brains are highly wired by old memories with family, or it may be possible that our ancestors whom we’ve never met before affect our brains.

       Next, I came up with the following idea: “How can I help my client solve family issues in a coaching session?” In my view, the key is hidden beneath a narrative practice. In an actual session, I attempt to listen carefully to my client’s family story, asking various questions related to it. Surprisingly, during the session, most clients give me a comment like this: “I really feel good right now because I was able to share the story which I usually couldn’t talk about with anybody. Also, I’m surprised that I found a relation between this coaching topic and my family issues.” Many therapists insist that narrative technique is effective for clients because it encourages them to release negative emotions. Based on my experience, however, I suppose that the effect is not only to unleash negative emotions but also to integrate our brains in an appropriate way and to shape a new brain.

Reference

Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology

Mirror Neurons and Coaching: Imitative Learning and Empathizing: Integral Coaching

       The definition of a mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when we act and when we observe the same action performed by another person. For instance, when we move our arms, some neurons corresponding to the movement are activated. In the same way, when we just watch another person moving his or her arms, our neurons related to the movement fire without actually moving our arms.

       In fact, I sometimes offer a coaching exercise for my clients based on this scientific fact. If a coaching topic of my clients is “to be able to make a speech in public with dignified presence,” I may offer the following exercise. First, I will ask my clients what the ideal image of a good presenter (e.g., voice tone, gesture, posture, facial expression, etc.). Next, I may choose a skillful presenter and may ask them to watch a video of the presenter, for example, YouTube. The purpose of this exercise is for clients to imitate a presentation of their ideal role model by watching the performance. As mentioned above, just watching another person’s performance leads to fire neurons related to the performance, so this imitative learning based on the mechanism of mirror neurons might be helpful for some coaching topics.   

       Furthermore, in my experience as a coach, most of the coaching topics are related to “others.” In such a topic, the key is usually “empathy” to others. Therefore, I’d like to scrutinize the result of research on the relationship between mirror neurons and empathy. Iacoboni (2008) reveals that

[M]irror neuron areas, the insula, and emotional brain areas in the limbic system, particularly the amygdala―a limbic structure highly responsive to faces―were activated while subjects were observing the faces, and the activity increased in those subjects who were also imitating what they saw. (pp. 118-119)

In other words, our mirror neurons fire when we look at others’ facial expressions. To describe the neural mechanism for empathy in detail, Iacoboni (2008) elucidates that: “By means of this firing, the neurons also send signals to emotional brain centers in the limbic system to make us feel what other people feel” (p. 119). In any event, this result strongly supports the idea that mirror neurons are the key to understanding others’ emotions. If a client who is a manager in a company is struggling with human relationships because he or she lacks a feeling of empathy, I might suggest a practice for him or her to consciously observe others’ facial expressions. On the basis of the above research result, this practice will enhance clients’ ability to empathize with others. 

Reference

Mirroring People: The Science of Empathy and How We Connect with Others

The Impact of Metaphor on Our Brains and Minds in Integral Coaching

       In Integral Coaching, coaches offer two metaphors for a client to describe the client’s current and new way of being. During a coaching session, I’m always amazed at the power of metaphors. In fact, every client gives positive feedback to me after I offer two metaphors. For example, one client gave me a comment: “How did you come up with the metaphor? And how did you gain such a deep understanding of me even though we have met each other only one time?” In addition, another client told me: “I was completely able to visualize the scene which your metaphor described. It was like a true movie…To tell you the truth, I’ve never seen such a wonderful movie. Thank you so much!” Every time I listen to my clients’ stories about metaphors, I always become happy and recognize the power of metaphors. Fortunately, I’ve experienced those impressive moments as a coach, but I came up with the idea about a metaphor: “What is happening in my client’s brain and mind while he or she is listening to my metaphor?” and “How does one metaphor affect our brains and minds?” I’d like to elucidate the phenomenon and mechanism in the following section.

       First, I was wondering which brain parts were activated while my clients were listening to a metaphor. It is true that a metaphor is a form of language, and one might say that we activate Broca’s area in our brain, whose main functions of which are language production and language comprehension. However, as one of my clients shared with me the visual image embedded in a metaphor, I come up with an idea that we activate different parts of brain from Broca’s area while we listen to a metaphor and visualize it. Regarding this point, Lakoff and Johnson (1999) explain: “Metaphor allows conventional mental imagery from sensorimotor domains to be used for domains of subjective experience” (p. 45). Lakoff and Johnson (1999) don’t directly mention which brain parts are activated, but when we conceptualize an idea while listening to a metaphor, we may form a visual image by activating sensorimotor cortex.

       Second, Kegan (1994) illustrates that a metaphor offers “the benefit of engaging the left and right side of the brain simultaneously, combining the linear and the figurative, the descriptive and the participative, the concrete and the abstract” (p. 260). As Kegan points out, clients can activate both left and right side of their brains at the same time while they are receiving a metaphor. Of course, activating both sides of brains may be beneficial for clients, but I noticed another interesting phenomenon. After I offer a metaphor, I’m always sure to ask my clients about a first impression of the metaphor. Then, I find clients’ fascinating activity that they always add a new meaning to the metaphor and create their own “story.” Kegan (1994) also clarifies that when a coach’s metaphor “addresses the internal circumstances of being a maker of meaning-structures, the client may find that, drawn to put his hands to reshaping it, he is engaged in reshaping the very way he knows” (p. 260). As a coach, I actually saw such a scene several times in a coaching session, so I believe that a metaphor includes a tremendous power to change clients’ way of being. Thus, I need to be careful to choose an appropriate metaphor for my clients because a metaphor includes a potential to define clients’ current and future way of being.

Reference

1 In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life
2 Philosophy in the Flesh : The Embodied Mind and Its Challenge to Western Thought

Feel Empathy to Clients Based on Developmental Theory

Now, I provide not only adults but also adolescents with Integral Coaching, and I often feel that I want to support their psychological growth, looking at their developmental process same as the process which I went through.

However, I sometimes forget the fact that I followed the same developmental path and I faced the same developmental objectives that they face right now. Regarding this point, I always try not to forget the fact, but it is sometimes difficult for me to remember the fact.

I think understanding developmental psychology leads to empathy to clients’ development, so I want to cultivate the understanding in a serious manner. This is a short memo after a coaching session.

Psychotherapeutic Technique: Empty Chair

I’d like to introduce a very unique and influential therapeutic practice in gestalt therapy. Empty Chair technique is effective “when a client is stuck, either in an internal or external conflict or not knowing which of two options to choose” (Rock & Page, 2009, p. 294). A part of the process in this technique is below; the situation is that it seems difficult for a client to complain about his or her subordinate because the client is too kind to people to reproach for the subordinate’s neglect of duty.

Coach: Let’s say that your subordinate is sitting here in this empty chair. What would you say to him?

Client: Why don’t you perform your duty? Are you really a professional consultant? What’s your motivation to work? If you don’t have passion, quit right now!

Coach: Now, please stand up and move over to the empty chair and when you sit in it, please become him having heard all that you said right now. What’s your response as him?

The dialogue goes on, and the empty chair technique is performed in that way. In my view, this technique is helpful for clients to take the other person’s perspective and to change behavior and thinking patterns. To explain a therapeutic effect in more detail, clients can re-organize his or her perceptions and experiences and create a new gestalt through this exercise.

Reference

Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice

Fully Functioning Person?

I’d like to highlight the three characteristics of the fully functioning person based on Rogers’ theory. First of all, Rogers defines the fully functioning person as “a person who is completely aware of his or her ongoing self” (Farger & Fadiman, 2002, p. 328). In other words, the fully functioning person can be described as a person who continually evolves. The first characteristic is an openness to experience. As Cain (2010) points out, the person who is open to experience tends to take in information produced from within or from the external environment without defensiveness. The second quality is living in the present. The person who is living in the present is likely to directly engage with reality, and his or her self and personality emerges from experience in that moment. The last property is trusting in one’s inner urging and intuitive judgments. According to Rogers’ idea, the person who has self-trust would make a mistake through erroneous information, not erroneous processing or misperceptions (Farger & Fadiman, 2002). Consequently, the person who has the above three characteristics is regarded as the fully functioning person, and the person continues to walk a way to self-actualization.  

Reference

-Personality and Personal Growth
-Person-Centered Psychotherapies

What is Organismic Valuing Process

Rogers defines the organismic valuing process as an ongoing process in which “experiences are viewed freshly and valued in terms of how well they serve the person’s sense of well-being and potential growth” (Cain, 2010, p. 25). In terms of person-centered therapists’ view, clients have an intrinsic motivation that enables them to experience fulfillment. As Cain (2010) points out, person-centered therapists play a role to make it possible for clients to fully engage in all experiences. So, if I incorporate this concept into my coaching modality, I’d like to support my clients’ motivation in the organismic valuing process, which encourages them to experience satisfaction in their lives.

Reference
Person-Centered Psychotherapy

Two Types of Presence in Coaching or Therapy Session

I think that “presence” is very important in therapy or coaching to transform or heal clients because our presence is a manifestation of our psyche. Presence is one of the key concepts in the third force, and there are two types of presence: interpersonal and intrapersonal presence. As Schneider and Krug (2010) elucidate, interpersonal presence “refers to the capacity to be present to experiences, feelings, and attitudes occurring between therapist and client that are implicitly or explicitly unfolding in the present moment in the therapy room” (p. 137). In terms of Integral Theory, interpersonal presence is categorized in the Lower Left quadrant (collective interior), and it can be said to be a shared subjective experience. On the other hand, intrapersonal presence is “the capacity to be present to inner experiences, memories, feelings, and attitudes that are implicitly and explicitly unfolding in the present moment in the therapy room” (Schneider & Krug, 2010, pp. 137-138). Although interpersonal presence shows up between therapist and client, intrapersonal presence arises within therapist and client. Expressed in another way, interpersonal presence arises from the Lower Left quadrant, and intrapersonal presence comes from each therapist’s and client’s Upper Left quadrant (individual interior). I’ll build a better interpersonal presence between my client and I, and pay attention to my intrapersonal presence in my coaching session.
Reference    
Existential-Humanistic Psychotherapy

What's the Difference between "Congruence" and "Incongruence?"

In terms of Rogers’ view, congruence is the degree of accuracy between experience, communication, and awareness. A person with a high degree of congruence tends to regard experience, communication, and awareness as the same and can’t discern them. For example, small children often display high congruence in that they can’t disidentify from both three elements; a child who is angry expresses the emotion of anger thoroughly and absolutely. On the other hand, incongruence arises when there are differences between awareness, experience, and communication. Especially, “[i]ncongruence between awareness and experience is called repression or denial” (Farger & Fadiman, 2002, p. 320). As a coach, I often help my clients notice the difference between awareness and experience during a session. Also, I encourage my clients to modify the distorted perception by asking various questions.      

Reference
Personality and Personal Growth

Ideal Self in Rogers' Theory

The following is a simple memo about "ideal self" in Rogers' theory.

In Rogers’ view, the ideal self is “the self-concept witch the individual would most like to possess, upon which he places the highest value for himself” (cited in Farger & Fadiman, 2002, p. 318). As well as the self, ideal self also evolves with the march of time. If our ideal self has no connection to the actual self, we may suffer from neurotic difficulties in the worst case. In other words, our ideal self could be a hindrance to our psychological growth when it differs significantly from our real self (Farger & Fadiman, 2002). In my view, this concept is strongly related to self-esteem need, so we need to strictly discern healthy self-esteem from excessive ideal self because most humanists tend to insist on the importance of self-esteem too much.

Reference

Personality and Personal Growth

Maslow's Model and Rogers' Model: Unconditional Positive Regards

With respect to the transformation and healing model in the third force, the key of transformation and healing resides in basic human needs and other’s responses in terms of Carl Rogers’ theory. Although Maslow proposes the importance of satisfying lower needs such as safety, belonging and love, and esteem need in order to accomplish self-actualization, Rogers focuses on needs for self-actualization and positive regard for self-actualization.

Maslow points out that it is important to fulfill lower needs and to exclude the following three limitations for self-actualization “(1) negative influences from past experience and resulting unproductive habits; (2) social influence and group pressure that often operate against our own taste and judgment; and (3) inner defenses that keep us out of touch with ourselves” (Farger & Fadiman, 2002, p. 355). These three limitations inhibit our self-actualization because each limitation is a factor to prevent lower needs from being satisfied. For instance, unproductive habits such as addiction to alcohol or poor diet may threaten physiological need. Also, group pressure may impede an individual achievement related to self-esteem need. In terms of Maslow’s model, enough supports to satisfy lower needs and to eliminate those three limitations are important for self-actualization.

On the other hand, Rogers insists on the importance of not only clients’ satisfying with basic human needs but also receiving other’s responses, which is “unconditional positive regard.” Unconditional positive regard means that we are accepted by others regardless of what we say or do. If our need for unconditional positive regard is satisfied, we are more able to be proud of ourselves and to accept our feelings. Regarding this point, Cain (2010) explains: “[W]hen clients feel predominantly accepted and consistently valued for who they are by their therapists or significant others, they are likely to develop positive and accepting views of themselves” (p. 22). In other words, therapists play an important role to fill with client’s self-esteem need for his or her to accomplish self-actualization.

As a conclusion, to exclude the three factors to impede self-actualization is a distinctive characteristic in Maslow’s approach, and unconditional positive regard is a key element for self-actualization in Rogers’s approach.                 　

Reference

1 Personality and Personal Growth

2 Person-Centered Psychotherapies

Primary Model of Pathology in Humanistic Psychology

Regarding the primary model of pathology in the third force, Maslow (1954) enumerates three points about major impediments to self-actualization: deprivation, conflict, and threat. First, Maslow (1954) points out that being deprived of, for example, love, prestige, respect, or other basic needs will have a negative effect on human psyche. And these kinds of deprivations are almost the same as threats. However, Maslow raises an alarm over this point. In Maslow’s view, the inevitable deprivations in childhood such as sexual deprivation are regarded as a kind of frustration, and these are not necessarily pathological. In that sense, the clear distinction between certain deprivations, which are like threats, and mere deprivations is important to cure the hindrance of deprivations.

              Second, Maslow (1954) demonstrates several types of conflicts, but I’d like to choose one type of them: “catastrophic conflict” (p. 159). It’s a well-known fact that we live with innumerable choices in our daily lives, but “all the choices are equally catastrophic or threatening in their effects or else there is only one possibility and this is a catastrophic threat” (p. 159). Although this type of conflict is common in the animal world, human beings also suffer from it and it becomes a kind of pathology to prohibit self-actualization.

              

             According to Maslow, a certain threat in our lives becomes a factor to inhibit our psychological growth. Maslow (1954) explicates that “synonymizing ‘threat’ with ‘growth-inhibiting’ creates the difficult possibility of a situation being at this moment subjectively nonthreatening, but threatening or growth-inhibiting in the future” (p. 166). This sentence implies that a certain present event seems to be nonthreatening in that moment, but it may include a future risk of prohibiting self-actualization. With respect to this point, Maslow (1954) illustrates by an example that a child hopes for satisfaction which will please him, quiet him, reduce anxiety, etc., but which might have a possibility to inhibit his psychological growth. In terms of Maslow’s view, the above three concepts lead to pathology to restrain self-actualization.

Reference

1 Motivation and Personality

Humanistic Psychology in Wilber's Model

        Ken Wilber’s spectrum of consciousness model comprises the following four levels: shadow, ego, existential, and mind. To come right to the point, the third force (especially, humanistic force) is situated on the mind level; strictly speaking, the transpersonal force might be more closer to the mind level. First, Wilber (1975) explains that human beings tend to identify with the universe. Human beings in the existential level are regarded as organisms which have a rational thought, those who in the ego level are deemed to have a mental picture of their total psychophysical organism, and those who in the shadow level become gradually able to dis-identify with some aspects in their ego. On the other hand, human beings in the mind level are identical to the absolute and ultimate reality of the universe. Secondly, Wilber (1977) describes the mind level in the following: “The Level of Mind is―as we shall try to demonstrate―exactly what you are feeling right now before you feel anything else―a sensation of being one with the cosmos.” (p. 8). In other words, human beings in this level tend to value feelings of here-and-now and attempt to connect with higher and expanded consciousness.

As well as Wilber’s remarks, the third force addresses a sense of unity, or higher realm of human consciousness. While the first force is prone to focus on the mechanistic aspects in human beings and the second force is inclined to emphasize a dark side of human beings, the third force is likely to shed light on higher realms of human psyche. Regarding this point, Maslow’s research about self-actualizaed people is a typical example of focusing on a bright side of human beings. Therefore, I think that the third force is categorized into the mind level in Wilber’s model in that it refers to the higher and bright side of human beings.  

Reference:The spectrum of consciousness