Feel Empathy to Clients Based on Developmental Theory

Now, I provide not only adults but also adolescents with Integral Coaching, and I often feel that I want to support their psychological growth, looking at their developmental process same as the process which I went through.

However, I sometimes forget the fact that I followed the same developmental path and I faced the same developmental objectives that they face right now. Regarding this point, I always try not to forget the fact, but it is sometimes difficult for me to remember the fact.

I think understanding developmental psychology leads to empathy to clients’ development, so I want to cultivate the understanding in a serious manner. This is a short memo after a coaching session.

My Current Way of Being and New Way of Being

This morning, I had a coaching session with my coach through Skype. She is my Integral Coach and, at the same time, my supervisor. So, she always gives me useful feedback about my assessments and coaching program which I created for my clients, and also supports my growth. This was the second session with her, but she gave my two metaphors to describe my current and new way of being based on the first session.

My Current Way of Being: Busy Space Explore

My New Way of Being: Practical Master Body Builder

I love these metaphors. Especially, the first metaphor exactly describes current me (I don’t talk about it here). Furthermore, the second one correctly points out what I need in order to support my weakness of the CWOB and to develop more.  

So far, I’ve offered some metaphors for my clients, and I noticed the power embedded in the metaphors, but I’ve never been offered from someone else. Thus, today’s session was meaningful for me because I found many new things about Integral Coaching and in me. 

My Integral Coaching for Whom?

While engaging in Integral Coaching, I just came to think: “For whom do I provide this coaching?” Needless to say, I do it for my clients. That’s right, but my coaching offers tremendous benefits for my growth and development as a human being (I don’t like the word “benefit,” but I can’t find a more appropriate word…perhaps, welfare, well-being…I don’t know.). It is true that I “give” something to my clients as a coach, but at the same time, I obviously “take” or “learn” something important from my wonderful clients.

My coaching is full of agony and joy. In each coaching session, epitome of our life manifest in that moment. I suppose so. I live my life, but I sometimes seem to live others’ life…For whom does my coaching exist in this real world? For me? For my clients? For the universe?

Integral Coaching: The Importance of “Looking As” the Client

It is often said that to Look As a client is more challenging than Look At the client, but I really feel so through my coaching journey. Both of them require a different kind of ability of a coach.  In a word, the ability to Look At the client calls for a high cognitive development to see the client from multi-perspectives. On the other hand, the ability to Look As the client entails not only cognitive development but also various lines’ development (emotional, somatic, interpersonal, spiritual, moral, etc.). That’s why I need to make strenuous efforts to develop whole capacities as a coach, as a human through integral life practices. 

My Integral Coaching and the Wisdom of Behaviorism

              I believe that the insights of the psychotherapeutic schools associated with behaviorism might be helpful for my coaching clients. Now, I engage in Integral Coaching activity, which is based on Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory and Robert Kegan’s Subject-Object Theory. In each coaching case, I always need to assess client’s behavioral aspects. For example, in every coaching session, I make sure that I ask my clients about questions related to individual objective things (e.g., action, respond, behavior, energy flow, etc.). Furthermore, I pay attention to my behavior during coaching session, for instance, my posture, gesture, facial expression, energy state, and breathing rhythm.  

In addition to the assessment, I sometimes offer some developmental exercises for my clients to create a new way of being, considering my client’s past behavioral patterns. When I think about the best exercise for my clients, I’d like to refer to psychotherapeutic techniques more. Especially, I think that Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy will be helpful to modify clients’ behavioral patterns, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is also useful to make clients’ life rich and meaningful. In a word, the wisdom of behaviorism is indispensable in my coaching in order to assess and transform my clients.   

“Human Behavior, Learning, and the Developing Brain”: Does Coaching Enhance Human Language Skills? Which Brain Parts Activated Through Coaching?

In the chapter of “Experience and Developmental Changes in the Organization of Language-Relevant Brain Activity,” the author elucidates the process of human language development in terms of cognitive neuroscience. As for the shaping new synapses and a new brain, Mills & Sheehan (2007) expounds: “experience plays an important role in shaping the organization of the brain for a variety of sensory and cognitive process such as music, face recognition, speech perception, and language development” (p. 183). 


After reading this sentence, I remembered my coaching session. In a coaching session, clients explore themselves and explain various kinds of things about a coaching topic. During the coaching session, I noticed that coaching process has the possibility to enhance clients’ cognitive and language development because they objectify themselves as possible as they can and try to describe themselves as detailed as possible by using language with dexterity in the coaching process. 


Furthermore, in my view, coaching is a kind of the non-ordinary experience in our daily life. The main reason is that there may not be more powerful opportunities to identify and dis-identify own than coaching. I assume that the extraordinary experience, coaching activates our brain, especially the part which we don’t usually stimulate. Also, I witnessed the situation several times that my clients’ words and language became crystallized gradually in my coaching session. Therefore, my interests are: Does coaching develop language skills (cognitive ability)? Which parts in a brain are activated through coaching?

Reference

I read this book because one of the editors is Dr. Kurt W. Fischer. He is a founder of “Mind, Brain, and Education” program at Harvard Graduate School of Education. I’m really interested in this new type of education program and his research topics.

Providing Coaching and Getting Coaching

Yesterday was a meaningful day for me as a coach. I can’t describe it well, but because I felt a “true human connection” between my client and I. Also, I noticed the moment during the coaching session was, sacred, holy, and blessed. Actually, I believe that my client’s Big Mind and Big Heart resonated with mine…The atmosphere during coaching session was like a concert of the masterpiece of symphony with  mixture of agony and jubilance. I’ve never “tasted” such a moment before. Yesterday’s experience ignited my heart and passion as a coach.

Also, I got coaching from my Integral Coach through Skype today. This was also an exceptional experience for me. She gave me not only feedback about my assessment of my clients but also plethora of insights toward my assessment, client’s coaching topic, and my “CWOB (Current Way of Being).” The coaching session with her was a succession of “aha moments.”

I really would like to continue to provide people who rely on me and need support with Integral Coaching, and I wish to keep on getting Integral Coaching from other coaches. Both of them are wonderful opportunity to interact with others deeply and accelerate not only clients’ and my psychological growth but also our quality of life. I believe so.

Integral Coaching Diary: The Phenomenological, Neurological, and Physiological Effect of Coaching

I plan to work with four clients in six months. Now, I started to work with one client. After first meeting, I was intrigued by the process of coaching. For example, I was able to “feel” that sacred collective consciousness between my client and me happened. I noticed that by comparing my state of consciousness before and after coaching. Obviously, my state of consciousness during the coaching session altered. This is the first point I noticed about the coaching session. In a word, that was a mysterious phenomenological phenomenon.

In addition, maybe the coaching session affected our brain neurologically, physiologically. The coaching session shaped a new brain (perhaps, not only brain but also our body). Through the Integral Coaching, how do my clients evolve psychologically and change phenomenologically, neurologically, and physiologically? My current interest resides in it.

Daily Self-Observation and Journal Practice from Joanne Hunt’s Article

 After the first day of the Integral Coaching Canada’s program, my instructor handed an article to us. This article was written by Joanne Hunt who is one of the founders of Integral Coaching Canada, and the topic of this article was psychological resistance. Everyone has a kind of psychological resistance. For instance, when we decide to quit smoking, but most of us find difficult to do so. Because we have a hidden desire to maintain our status quo. Of course, this is not a strange phenomenon, but this is a natural biological function for us.

However, how to build a good relationship with “psychological resistance” is a key point in coaching. The following self-observation journal practice is helpful to bring our psychological resistance close.

1 When did I feel resistance today?

2 How did this resistance present itself in my body? My thoughts?

3 What were my judgments associated with the resistance? My feelings?

4 What was I most responding to?

5 What change was I resisting? (Having to change my mind or my view or my way of being? Having to drop my agenda, my way of seeing things? My new practice? This new idea?)

6 What am I most trying to keep intact?

7 What is required to let go of this grip to keep things safe?

8 What did I learn about my dance of change and resistance?

For every force, there is an equal and opposing force.

For every change attempted, there will be resistance of equal magnitude.

The above sentences describe our psychological resistance beautifully.

Reference:

Joanne Hunt, “Coaching: The Dance of Change and Resistance”

Integral Coaching Canada: Module 1 Day 1

I’d like to recall this wonderful coaching program, so I’ll write down what I learned, what I felt, and what I thought during five days.

On the first day, I entered the hotel room where this program hold, feeling excited and a little nervous. And this program began by introducing ourselves. Each participant had four minutes to introduce themselves. Moreover, one of our instructors told us not to introduce in a traditional way. Honestly speaking, four minutes were too long for me (I believe everyone thought so), and a creative self-introduction was more problematic than four minutes… As I imagined, I finished my introduction for just one minute, so I created an unprepared meditation practice for everyone. Maybe this idea was nice and worked well…maybe.

Then we learned and practiced the following things on the first day.

1 Ways of Listening

2 Introduction to the Integral Coaching Method and Theory

3 Tuning in to a Client’s world

4 Powerful Questions

To me, I’m able to listen to someone in some degree, but my capability to ask powerful questions has room for improvement. Strictly speaking, perhaps, my listening capability also needs a little work. I’m going to cultivate both of them gradually through my actual coaching activity.

Anyway, this program gave us not only theory and knowledge of Integral Coaching, but also many opportunities to practice. This program was truly practical. I can say that was intense but really fruitful.

My new journey as a coach started on this day.