Too Much Futuristic?

I understand I’m too much futuristic from my childhood (I was really type 7). When I was 10 years old, I decided which university to attend. In fact, I entered the university in 9 years later. When I was 19 years old, I decided which company to work in. In fact, I eventually worked in that company in 4 years later. When I was 12 years old, I decided to study at Harvard some day... By the time I graduate from JFKU, I'll be 27 years old. If I accomplish the aim this time, that will have been attained in 15 years later...If I do that, I'll believe one of the New Age ideas, "The Secret." haha. This is my joking, but seriously speaking, I may have been obsessed with "something" from my childhood.


Maybe I’m afraid of “something” in my life, so I tend to think of my future plan in order to look away the “something.” What is the “something?” Fear of death? That may be one of the “something.” However, the fear of death doesn’t seem to be a right answer to me. Perhaps, my basic desire is so strong… What is my desire?” I know that, at same time, I don’t know that.

Ed.D and Ed.M at Harvard Graduate School of Education

Now, after graduation from JFKU, I plan to apply Ed.D (Human Development and Education) and Ed.M program (Human Development and Psychology) at Harvard Graduate School Education. Yesterday, I sent my “passionate” message about my future plan to the chair of my program. She respected my passion and plan, I believe so.

Needless to say, the admission of Harvard is really competitive. Even anyone who lives under a rock knows the fact. Especially, doctorate program is amazingly competitive.

I checked the requirements of the admission, and I found that “GRE test” was required…I thought “What is GRE?” Immediately, I checked it out on Google and took a sample test. In a word, the result was disastrous…in particular verbal section. It seems very difficult for non-native people (especially Japanese) to solve verbal problems. I suppose the hurdle to clear average score of enrolled student (2011) is really high for me.

Ed.D: verbal 670/800,quantitative (math) 720/800, AWA 5.3

Ed.M: verbal 600/800, quantitative 660/800, AWA 4.7

My sample score was: verbal 360/800, quantitative 760/800…I laughed at my score. What’s the gap of my score between verbal and quantitative? I think I don’t need to study math but I definitely have to plan a well-formulated strategy about verbal section soon. For your information, HGSE admission web page says “If your GRE scores are significantly low (i.e., below 460 V, 580 Q, and 3.5 AW), your chances for admission will be greatly reduced.” Oops, I don’t meet even the minimum score of verbal. It’s time to show my ability of type 3, 7, and 8 in the Enneagram. (achiever, enthusiast, challenger) It is said that it is almost impossible for Japanese to get over 600 about verbal section. I’m very lucky because I’m Japanese, and I can enjoy this process.

The Path to Harvard Graduate School of Education

Suddenly, I noticed what my true passion was as if I was hit with a thunderbolt…To tell you the truth, I planned to go to an integral consulting company or business school after graduation from JFKU. The reason was simple: I attempted to apply Integral Theory to the business world or to learn Organizational Behavior which covers psychological issues in the business field. This plan didn’t seem unusual because my academic background (BA) was business administration (especially accounting), and I was a business consultant before coming to USA. I imagined my career as a “dialectic process (thesis: limitations of the current business world, antithesis: psychology and Integral Theory, then synthesis: integral business.” However, I realized that my passion didn’t exist in the business world anymore…My true passion resides in the “education” world…I’ve experienced this kind of drastic shift twice.

The first was I decided to quit my job and decided to go to JFKU in order to study Integral Theory and various psychologies. The second was this time: shifted my passion from the business world to education world. Why did my passion change in a sudden? The key was “deep inquiry.” A couple months ago, I talked to the chair of my program about the importance of inquiry. Since then, I’ve asked myself: “What is my true passion?” “What is my sacred purpose in my life?” “What is my calling?” I inquired again and again. I asked to myself every day. Then, I found “where” my true passion and purpose in my life were. Actually, my true passion never separated from me. It has been with me and within me all my life. Now, my feeling is full of “euphoria.”

Firstly, I have to appreciate JFKU because it taught me the joyfulness of “learning.” Every teacher at JFKU has a wonderful passion toward teaching, so I’m inspired a lot.

Next, now, I engage in one NPO in Japan, which supports childhood cancer patients and their parents. And I recently started to teach children English conversation (Please don’t laugh at me, my friends in America. Yes, I’m a real English teacher.) and to provide some of them with Integral Coaching to support their psychological growth. Through teaching in this NPO, I realized the great pleasure of “teaching.” In retrospect, I remembered that I felt the enjoyment and fulfillment by teaching my friends various subjects in a school from elementary school, junior high school, high school, and to university. Honestly speaking, this emotion in those days was beyond language.

Lastly, I was really intrigued by human development. I took a “Developmental Psychology” class last quarter and read some Robert Kegan’s books…The more I learned his theory, the more I became eager to study with him actually. Thus, I decided to go to Harvard Graduate School of Education in order to study with him. The reason of my decision was really simple? Maybe so. When I decided to leave my company and to go to JFKU, the reason was also simple as I told you before. Perhaps, I live my life, following my inner “simple” but holy voice. Who knows my true passion, purpose, calling in my life? My inner holy voice does.