What patterns of behavior are you now aware of that you weren’t previously aware of?
Now, I’m aware of my dominant emotional patterns as type seven. Riso and Hudson (2003) point out that “Sevens have anxiety about their inner world. There are feelings of pain, loss, deprivation, and the general anxiety that Sevens would like to avoid as much as possible” (p. 70). In fact, I tended to lock away anxious feelings, and I tried to forget them by doing other activities without facing the root of the problem. However, as I learn the Enneagram, I can grasp my thinking and behavioral patterns as type seven, so I become able to cope with my anxious feelings very well. To tell you the truth, I sometimes feel worried about my future, for instance, my career and my life. If I had been my old self before studying the Enneagram, I couldn’t have faced the insecure feeling in an appropriate way. Perhaps, I would have avoided the negative feelings by engaging in other activities, but now I courageously face the anxious feelings by virtue of the wisdom of the Enneagram. The Enneagram made me notice my behavioral patterns and that I was likely to avoid negative feelings.
Moreover, one of my weaknesses as type seven is that I always think of my future, and my mind is always busy. My usual inner conversations are like this “What is the most exciting job in my future?”, “What should I do next?”, “What do I do next?” etc. Considering these inner conversations, I can understand that I often focus on my future things, the word “next” and focus on interesting activities, the word “do”. The more I think too much about the future, the more difficult it is for me to enjoy the present moment. Here, I have to keep in mind that the key factor of transformation is being present (Riso & Hudson, 2003) and “real transformation only takes place when we are living in real time, which is another way of saying when we are present, fully existing in the now” (Maitri, 2000, p. 226). In order to be here and now, I practice meditation every day, and I try to fully enjoy the present moment.
Although the above characteristics which I was not aware of are negative, I found some positive patterns as type seven. When I was young, I regarded self-actualization as attaining something for me. For example, I almost always thought “What is possible to accomplish for myself?” In a word, my enjoyment in my life arose from the motivation to do something for “me.” However, this idea is gradually changing from day to day. I notice that my self-actualization is related to others. In other words, my self-actualization is not attaining something for “me” but accomplishing something for “others.” Actually, I take great pleasure from the words “Thank you!” from others. When I was a consultant in Japan, the words “Thank you so much.” from my clients or my managers brought me real happiness, and that was my breath of life. Riso and Hudson (1999) demonstrate that “They know that their primary enjoyment of life comes from contributing something to the world” (p. 283). I really would like to contribute something to people around me, our societies, and our world beyond my ego. Doing something for others, societies, and the world is a great satisfaction in my life.
