Useful Coaching Methodologies Based on Neurological Findings and Facts: Naming and Rating Emotions

       The name of the second practice is “naming and rating emotions.” Finding a good way to control our emotions will be a common issue in everyone’s life. Please imagine that we can control our emotions at will when we face a difficult person or situation. How much can we enhance the quality of our social life? I’d like to show one useful way to control our emotions in the following section.

       In the first place, what’s the difference between the next two sentences: “I am angry.” and “I feel angry.” I think that there is one big difference between them. In my view, the first person who said “I am angry” can’t control his or her emotion very well because the person identifies with the emotion itself. On the other hand, the second person who said “I feel angry” may be able to control his or her emotion better than the first person. That is because the person has a certain distance from the emotion and objectifies the emotion. Through the above example, I’d like to propose that the more we objectify our emotions, the better we become able to control our emotions. About emotional control, a famous psychoanalyst Rollo May explains that “the mature person becomes able to differentiate feelings into as many nuances, strong and passionate experiences, or delicate and sensitive ones as in the different passages of music in a symphony” (cited in Rosenberg, 2003, p. 37). As Rollo May suggests, the first step to controlling our emotions is to differentiate our feelings. In order to differentiate our feelings, I recommend that we “name” each emotion. For example, when we feel a little bit angry, we might name the emotion as “a small war.” Likewise, when we feel very sad, we could name the emotions as “a cold ocean.” By naming our various emotions in such a way, we become able to grasp the subtle nuance in our emotions and able to objectify them in the more appropriate manner.

       What is happening in our brains when we name our emotions? According to a research result using fMRI, “the researchers found that when the participants labeled the emotions using words, they showed less activity in the amygdala―the area of the brain associated with emotional distress” (Rock & Page, 2009, p. 364). As this research indicates, naming our emotions is effective in reducing our mental distress.

       In the second place, I’d like to recommend that we “rate” our emotions on a scale of 1 to10. For instance, when we feel a little bit disgusted, we might rate the emotion on a scale of 3. Likewise, when we feel very upset, we could rate the emotion on a scale of 8. Then, I suggest that we ask ourselves: “To what extent can I keep my inner peace?” “Will I be able to tolerate the scale of 6 the next time because I couldn’t lose my temper on a scale of 5 this time?”  By rating our emotions and asking these kinds of questions, I believe that we are more able to notice the various qualities and quantities of emotions showing up within us and more able to control our emotions. Therefore, this “naming and rating emotions” practice is fruitful for us to become a close friend with our various emotions and to enhance the quality of our emotional life.

Reference

1 Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice

2 Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life

Useful Coaching Methodologies Based on Neurological Findings and Facts: Attention-Practice

       One of the characteristics of our brains is that the connections of neurons become more and more hard-wired as we pay attention to a certain phenomenon. I often make full use of this characteristic of our brains in a form of “questions” during a coaching session. One of the principles of quantum physics for our brain function is in the following: “The questions you ask influence the results you see” (Rock & Page, 2009, p. 179). In an actual coaching session, I ask my clients about various types of questions related to their coaching topics. As a result, they come to notice new emotional or behavioral patterns which they have never found before. With regard to paying attention to a new thing, Rock and Page (2009) explain that “by choosing what to shine the spotlight of attention on, we can effect changes in the very structure of our brain” (p. 180).

       However, how can we consciously shed light on a new thing? I often recommend that my clients keep a “coaching journal.” The purpose of keeping a coaching journal is to encourage clients to pay attention to questions which I have asked and to find some behavioral or emotional patterns in their daily lives. Needless to say, just my asking various questions is helpful for clients to notice their habitual patterns. However, for clients, writing is a more powerful way to pay attention to their unconscious habits than just asking questions. In addition, the more they can conceptualize their habitual patterns in their language by writing a journal, the more they can strengthen neural networks to notice these patterns. As a result, they gradually become able to cope with the old patterns.

       About the power of keeping a journal, one client gave me feedback: “I didn’t notice my emotional reaction to others like that until I started to keep a journal. By paying attention to questions in interacting with others, which you asked, I become more and more aware of my reaction patterns. Also, I come to find more and more new things by continuing to keep a journal.” As this client told me, keeping a coaching journal encourages clients to pay attention to their behavioral or emotional patterns and leads to their coping with their unique patterns once they can notice them. In conclusion, keeping a coaching journal as an attention-practice is very beneficial for clients so as to enhance their self-awareness.

Reference

Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice

Family History and Narrative: Integral Coaching

       Through a coaching activity, I found that most clients had commonalities in their coaching topics. Although there are a variety of topics, in nine cases out of ten, they talk about their family issues such as a story about their parents or grandparents and memory with parents. I think that our memories might be inherited from our ancestors and our brains may be highly affected by not only our parents but also more previous generations.

       In terms of neuroscience and psychotherapy, Badenoch (2008) points out that our bodies and limbic region in our brains may not be integrated when we have a psychological issue about family. I’m not a therapist, but no less important is the fact that even most psychologically healthy clients tend to talk about family issues. Why do people tend to talk about family issues even though their coaching topic seems to be irrelevant to family issues? As mentioned above, one presumable reason is that our current memories and brains are highly wired by old memories with family, or it may be possible that our ancestors whom we’ve never met before affect our brains.

       Next, I came up with the following idea: “How can I help my client solve family issues in a coaching session?” In my view, the key is hidden beneath a narrative practice. In an actual session, I attempt to listen carefully to my client’s family story, asking various questions related to it. Surprisingly, during the session, most clients give me a comment like this: “I really feel good right now because I was able to share the story which I usually couldn’t talk about with anybody. Also, I’m surprised that I found a relation between this coaching topic and my family issues.” Many therapists insist that narrative technique is effective for clients because it encourages them to release negative emotions. Based on my experience, however, I suppose that the effect is not only to unleash negative emotions but also to integrate our brains in an appropriate way and to shape a new brain.

Reference

Being a Brain-Wise Therapist: A Practical Guide to Interpersonal Neurobiology

Mirror Neurons and Coaching: Imitative Learning and Empathizing: Integral Coaching

       The definition of a mirror neuron is a neuron that fires both when we act and when we observe the same action performed by another person. For instance, when we move our arms, some neurons corresponding to the movement are activated. In the same way, when we just watch another person moving his or her arms, our neurons related to the movement fire without actually moving our arms.

       In fact, I sometimes offer a coaching exercise for my clients based on this scientific fact. If a coaching topic of my clients is “to be able to make a speech in public with dignified presence,” I may offer the following exercise. First, I will ask my clients what the ideal image of a good presenter (e.g., voice tone, gesture, posture, facial expression, etc.). Next, I may choose a skillful presenter and may ask them to watch a video of the presenter, for example, YouTube. The purpose of this exercise is for clients to imitate a presentation of their ideal role model by watching the performance. As mentioned above, just watching another person’s performance leads to fire neurons related to the performance, so this imitative learning based on the mechanism of mirror neurons might be helpful for some coaching topics.   

       Furthermore, in my experience as a coach, most of the coaching topics are related to “others.” In such a topic, the key is usually “empathy” to others. Therefore, I’d like to scrutinize the result of research on the relationship between mirror neurons and empathy. Iacoboni (2008) reveals that

[M]irror neuron areas, the insula, and emotional brain areas in the limbic system, particularly the amygdala―a limbic structure highly responsive to faces―were activated while subjects were observing the faces, and the activity increased in those subjects who were also imitating what they saw. (pp. 118-119)

In other words, our mirror neurons fire when we look at others’ facial expressions. To describe the neural mechanism for empathy in detail, Iacoboni (2008) elucidates that: “By means of this firing, the neurons also send signals to emotional brain centers in the limbic system to make us feel what other people feel” (p. 119). In any event, this result strongly supports the idea that mirror neurons are the key to understanding others’ emotions. If a client who is a manager in a company is struggling with human relationships because he or she lacks a feeling of empathy, I might suggest a practice for him or her to consciously observe others’ facial expressions. On the basis of the above research result, this practice will enhance clients’ ability to empathize with others. 

Reference

Mirroring People: The Science of Empathy and How We Connect with Others

The Impact of Metaphor on Our Brains and Minds in Integral Coaching

       In Integral Coaching, coaches offer two metaphors for a client to describe the client’s current and new way of being. During a coaching session, I’m always amazed at the power of metaphors. In fact, every client gives positive feedback to me after I offer two metaphors. For example, one client gave me a comment: “How did you come up with the metaphor? And how did you gain such a deep understanding of me even though we have met each other only one time?” In addition, another client told me: “I was completely able to visualize the scene which your metaphor described. It was like a true movie…To tell you the truth, I’ve never seen such a wonderful movie. Thank you so much!” Every time I listen to my clients’ stories about metaphors, I always become happy and recognize the power of metaphors. Fortunately, I’ve experienced those impressive moments as a coach, but I came up with the idea about a metaphor: “What is happening in my client’s brain and mind while he or she is listening to my metaphor?” and “How does one metaphor affect our brains and minds?” I’d like to elucidate the phenomenon and mechanism in the following section.

       First, I was wondering which brain parts were activated while my clients were listening to a metaphor. It is true that a metaphor is a form of language, and one might say that we activate Broca’s area in our brain, whose main functions of which are language production and language comprehension. However, as one of my clients shared with me the visual image embedded in a metaphor, I come up with an idea that we activate different parts of brain from Broca’s area while we listen to a metaphor and visualize it. Regarding this point, Lakoff and Johnson (1999) explain: “Metaphor allows conventional mental imagery from sensorimotor domains to be used for domains of subjective experience” (p. 45). Lakoff and Johnson (1999) don’t directly mention which brain parts are activated, but when we conceptualize an idea while listening to a metaphor, we may form a visual image by activating sensorimotor cortex.

       Second, Kegan (1994) illustrates that a metaphor offers “the benefit of engaging the left and right side of the brain simultaneously, combining the linear and the figurative, the descriptive and the participative, the concrete and the abstract” (p. 260). As Kegan points out, clients can activate both left and right side of their brains at the same time while they are receiving a metaphor. Of course, activating both sides of brains may be beneficial for clients, but I noticed another interesting phenomenon. After I offer a metaphor, I’m always sure to ask my clients about a first impression of the metaphor. Then, I find clients’ fascinating activity that they always add a new meaning to the metaphor and create their own “story.” Kegan (1994) also clarifies that when a coach’s metaphor “addresses the internal circumstances of being a maker of meaning-structures, the client may find that, drawn to put his hands to reshaping it, he is engaged in reshaping the very way he knows” (p. 260). As a coach, I actually saw such a scene several times in a coaching session, so I believe that a metaphor includes a tremendous power to change clients’ way of being. Thus, I need to be careful to choose an appropriate metaphor for my clients because a metaphor includes a potential to define clients’ current and future way of being.

Reference

1 In Over Our Heads: The Mental Demands of Modern Life
2 Philosophy in the Flesh : The Embodied Mind and Its Challenge to Western Thought