Useful Coaching Methodologies Based on Neurological Findings and Facts: Naming and Rating Emotions

       The name of the second practice is “naming and rating emotions.” Finding a good way to control our emotions will be a common issue in everyone’s life. Please imagine that we can control our emotions at will when we face a difficult person or situation. How much can we enhance the quality of our social life? I’d like to show one useful way to control our emotions in the following section.

       In the first place, what’s the difference between the next two sentences: “I am angry.” and “I feel angry.” I think that there is one big difference between them. In my view, the first person who said “I am angry” can’t control his or her emotion very well because the person identifies with the emotion itself. On the other hand, the second person who said “I feel angry” may be able to control his or her emotion better than the first person. That is because the person has a certain distance from the emotion and objectifies the emotion. Through the above example, I’d like to propose that the more we objectify our emotions, the better we become able to control our emotions. About emotional control, a famous psychoanalyst Rollo May explains that “the mature person becomes able to differentiate feelings into as many nuances, strong and passionate experiences, or delicate and sensitive ones as in the different passages of music in a symphony” (cited in Rosenberg, 2003, p. 37). As Rollo May suggests, the first step to controlling our emotions is to differentiate our feelings. In order to differentiate our feelings, I recommend that we “name” each emotion. For example, when we feel a little bit angry, we might name the emotion as “a small war.” Likewise, when we feel very sad, we could name the emotions as “a cold ocean.” By naming our various emotions in such a way, we become able to grasp the subtle nuance in our emotions and able to objectify them in the more appropriate manner.

       What is happening in our brains when we name our emotions? According to a research result using fMRI, “the researchers found that when the participants labeled the emotions using words, they showed less activity in the amygdala―the area of the brain associated with emotional distress” (Rock & Page, 2009, p. 364). As this research indicates, naming our emotions is effective in reducing our mental distress.

       In the second place, I’d like to recommend that we “rate” our emotions on a scale of 1 to10. For instance, when we feel a little bit disgusted, we might rate the emotion on a scale of 3. Likewise, when we feel very upset, we could rate the emotion on a scale of 8. Then, I suggest that we ask ourselves: “To what extent can I keep my inner peace?” “Will I be able to tolerate the scale of 6 the next time because I couldn’t lose my temper on a scale of 5 this time?”  By rating our emotions and asking these kinds of questions, I believe that we are more able to notice the various qualities and quantities of emotions showing up within us and more able to control our emotions. Therefore, this “naming and rating emotions” practice is fruitful for us to become a close friend with our various emotions and to enhance the quality of our emotional life.

Reference

1 Coaching with the Brain in Mind: Foundations for Practice

2 Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life