Too Much Futuristic?

I understand I’m too much futuristic from my childhood (I was really type 7). When I was 10 years old, I decided which university to attend. In fact, I entered the university in 9 years later. When I was 19 years old, I decided which company to work in. In fact, I eventually worked in that company in 4 years later. When I was 12 years old, I decided to study at Harvard some day... By the time I graduate from JFKU, I'll be 27 years old. If I accomplish the aim this time, that will have been attained in 15 years later...If I do that, I'll believe one of the New Age ideas, "The Secret." haha. This is my joking, but seriously speaking, I may have been obsessed with "something" from my childhood.


Maybe I’m afraid of “something” in my life, so I tend to think of my future plan in order to look away the “something.” What is the “something?” Fear of death? That may be one of the “something.” However, the fear of death doesn’t seem to be a right answer to me. Perhaps, my basic desire is so strong… What is my desire?” I know that, at same time, I don’t know that.