I was just a canopy of heaven

Before, I joined the today’s dream group.  I enjoyed swimming in a pool.  I could relax so much.  I was relaxing at the poolside, and by chance I looked up at the sky.  There was no cloud in the sky.  I was just looking at the sky…just looking.  Gradually, my feelings, emotions, and sensations became altered.  I was not I who was relaxing at the poolside.  I was not my feelings.  I was not my emotions.  I was not my sensations.  Of course, I was not my thoughts.  Who was I?  I was just the vast blue sky.

I was really nothing, but I was everything.

My energy and language level

I noticed that my energy had a strong correlation with my English.  When my energy is down, my English level is also down.  In that situation, I don’t want to talk with anybody proactively…  However, when I can feel “connected” with others and “connected” with the present moment, my energy increases and I can communicate with others naturally in English.  If you notice that my energy is down, please don’t talk to me, haha. 

I need to keep my best condition (body, mind, spirit), but most important thing is that I need to connect with the present moment and enjoy it.

Dream Theater: Mountain and Devil

Today, I joined the dream group in JFKU.  This group is held on every Thursday night and I always look forward to participating in the group.  However, last week, my energy was down, and my dark and strong shadow showed up in me, so I didn’t want to talk with anybody…I couldn’t join the group last week (actually, I had three very intense dreams last week.  The two of them were related to someone’s death and the other was that I was diving into the dark and deep sea). 

After my long and long shadow work, I could recover my energy this week.  In today’s group, firstly, we shared our own dreams and then we played a dream theater based on my dream.  The overview of my dream is the following.

I was walking along a mountain road.  My feeling was fine and I enjoyed the scenery around me.  I kept walking, but suddenly I felt something strange behind me and I got a chill.  I turned around to look at that.  Oh, my god!  That was a humanlike devil.  Soon, I started to run away, but the devil was chasing me.  I desperately tried to run away, and I found a bicycle at the top of the mountain.  When I found the bicycle, the devil disappeared behind me, so I felt relived. 

Interestingly, I flew from the top of the mountain riding on the bicycle and I was enjoying flying.  Then, I noticed that there was a long tunnel located in front of me.  I was falling into the tunnel riding on the bicycle.  I felt excited but a little bit anxious…  After touching the ground, I began to peddle the bicycle.  Then, I found three doors in the tunnel.  I chose the middle door, and I opened it.  As entering the room, I found “black” coffee bottle and “white” milk bottle in the corner of the room.  I chose the white milk without question, and I drank it.  The taste was very sweet and good, so I felt comfortable and relieved.

My emotion and feeling in the dream

Start (Walking)	Finding the devil	Finding the bicycle	Flying and Falling into the tunnel	After drinking the milk
Relaxed and comfortable	Scary and anxious	A little bit relieved and interested	Excited and a little bit anxious	So relieved and relaxed

If I use the model of “the death/rebirth matrix” (Movie Yoga, p. 80), the process of my feeling was like this. 

Start (Walking)	Finding the devil	Finding the bicycle	Flying and Falling into the tunnel	After drinking the milk
Safe Zone	Trapped Zone/War Zone	Weak Free Zone	Trapped Zone	Free Zone

Anyway, I really appreciated my friends playing the dream theater based on my dream.  Thanks to their cooperation, I could re-experienced the dream again.  Also, I could face my shadow (devil) without running away.

Again, many thanks, my group friends!

Reference:Movie Yoga: How Every Film Can Change Your Life

The Integral Intake: A Guide to Comprehensive Idiographic Assessment in Integral Psychotherapy

I read just the chapter 5 about development lines and the integral psychograph, but I found that this book had insightful information for me.   Of course, psychotherapy and coaching are different types of job.  However, there are some similarities between both of the two.  I refer to how to assess clients.

Top 3 books about integral psychotherapy

-A Guide to Integral Psychotherapy: Complexity, Integration, and Spirituality in Practice (Suny Series in Integral Theory)

-Integral Psychotherapy: Inside Out/ Outside In (Suny Series in Integral Theory)

Wonderful Shadow Work Opportunity

Living with others is a wonderful opportunity to practice my shadow works.  If I were alone in my house, I would neglect my shadow practices.  Living with others is not always happy but this is a significant opportunity to transform myself.  I train myself in inter-subjectivity space (Internal Collective: Lower Left quadrant).

Enneagram Assessment: Type One and me (Seven)

As Riso and Hudson (1999) point out about type one that “On some level of consciousness, they feel that they ‘have a mission’ to fulfill in life, if only to try their best to reduce the disorder they see in their environment” (p. 99), I sometimes seem to have a strong mission in my life, so others regard me that I’m usually strict with myself to attain my mission.  In other words, I vigorously tend to do something good or right which I believe in order to accomplish my mission.  Therefore, I may be obsessed with the superego message of type one “You are good or okay if you do what is right” (p. 99)

In retrospect, when I was a kid, I sometimes felt that I was doing my job very hard but others were so lazy.  This was a very projection onto others and this was one of the characteristics of unhealthy Ones.  Riso and Hudson (1999) explain that “As Ones become more unhealthy, they displace more of their anger onto others as they make themselves the sole judge of who and what is right and wrong” (p.109).  In fact, I was likely to judge whether others did right or wrong by my standard.

However, the one of characteristics of healthy type one has positive impact on me. That is that “they can put aside their personal comfort and agenda for something is the long-range good for everyone involved” (Riso & Hudson, 1999, p. 120).  In other words, I become to have an altruistic heart for others and to draw a long-term vision for our community, society, and world.  I think that this is a one of most important strength of Ones.

Reference

1 The Wisdom of the Enneagram: The Complete Guide to Psychological and Spiritual Growth for the Nine Personality Types

2The Enneagram in Love and Work: Understanding Your Intimate and Business Relationships

Leader’s Developmental Psychograph Before/After Integral Coaching

I have a one question.  “Can a business coaching really contribute to client’s development and growth?  Also, how can we develop client’s various lines?”  I hope I will research this question academically after working as an integral coach.

Example